Random Stuff from Random Thoughts

Today will be the last day of 2012 and its certainly a perfect time to take a look back on the things that happened whole year long. For me, it was a year full of different kinds of experiences; some were hurtful but most were joyful.

First of all, I would like to give recognition to all the people who were part of my extraordinary 2012. I believe that each and every one of you were able to teach me lessons and help me have realizations that were major contributions in molding the person I see whenever I look in the mirror. Every accomplishment and failure with you guys were all significant parts of my life.

Some of the memories I have gained this year are to be left behind but most are to be treasured and to be kept for the rest of my life. Though all these memories contributed in making me the man I am right now, some of them were already used up and would least probably be needed the succeeding years.

I really wanted this post to be a very happy one, but while making this, all memories flashed back and brought out random emotions inside me. But I believe that these flashbacks will be the last time and will be the gateway for them to totally go out and never come back. I believe that I am totally happy right now and there won’t be anything more to ask other that for the people I have to stay as long as they want to.

To all my family, friends, love ones, and to all the people around me, Thank You. Thank you for being there not only when I needed you, but also for all the random times we had spent together. I assure you that I will be here to help you in having a very memorable and joyful 2013. We have a lifetime ahead of us, so let’s make it all worth the while.

Goodbye 2012.

HELLO 2013! :) 

-Edward Patrick E. Pilares II/December 31, 2012/7:19pm

When we get so much hurt, we usually ask about how tomorrow would be. We often believe that tomorrow will never be alright without the ones that we have lost. Tonight, I am here trying to give all of us a chance to see the brighter side of the road.

There are times when we lose the most special people in our lives. Times when the people whom we declare that we can never live without just disappears and never returns again. These are the times when we should learn that oftentimes, these people we want the most, are also the people we are best without.

When we try to forget and try to move on, there will be stages in this road to a “better you” where the ride will be bumpy. We cannot avoid these from happening, that is why we should always be ready to face them and fight. Not for other people, not for revenge, but simply for ourselves. The wounds that we might collect along the way will give you scars, significant scars that will one day be the determining factor of how far you’ve gone and how much you’ve learned.

There is this one usual instance when people change and gets worse when they get hurt. Such happenings are result of poor decision making and lack of priority set ups. The best thing to do is that always look at the bright side of the alley and cherish the things that remain beside you, that never left you. These things should serve as your motivation in accepting reality, being thankful for what you have, and not minding what you have lost. In belief that one day, something much better will arrive and replace the losses that you had in the past.

The main point of the story is to never give up and always be ready in taking all the necessary risks in order to be able to find the better you. So that one day, you will deserve having the better them.

-Edward Patrick E. Pilares II/November 18, 2012/5:23PM

Today will be the day the we would have to finally say goodbye. Before we totally go our separate ways, I just want to tell you everything you need to know and understand. I hope that even though were already apart, I will always be that one guy that you will remember when you get to think of what true love really is.

All those moments we shared together, may it be happy or not, will always be my precious memories. You were the first person I offered that much love, care, and affection. It is known to myself that everything I felt during our days of togetherness were true. I was always more than willing to give you everything I had and I was at the peak of myself for you. Even though we had some rough times together, I still valued those days because I know it was you that I am with. Nothing can be compared to the love I had for you. I just didn’t expect that our forever would end too soon.

I know writing this won’t make any sense anymore. All I know is that I’ve got to say all I want to say. I loved you so much and I thought we would be together until the end.

This is my final goodbye. Saying this goodbye is crushing my heart but I know that I will eventually be alright.

Goodbye to our always and forever. I loved you. I guess that even though I was already at my best, I just wasn’t good enough for you.

I can still remember the happiest days of my life. Those were the days when we were still together and believed in happy ever after. We had our own world, our own universe. It was you and me against the world. I didn’t care about what other people say and think for the only thing that was important for me was you and the happiness you bring into my everyday. Never have I imagined that the day will come that we have to say goodbye. The whole world knows how much love and care I was giving and willing to give for you. All that mattered to me was our little own world which made me feel that I need nothing more than for you to stay by my side. Just the thought of losing you was already painful, but the reality of it was what I believed to be the worst thing that may happen to my life.

In an unexpected time, you said goodbye. It felt like my whole world was falling apart and my heart was being torn into pieces. Craziness struck my mind and made me say and do unimaginable things. I wasn’t really ready to let you go. The person whom I believed to the one and only person I needed for me to survive life’s trials left brought my life into the worst position it could ever be.

Up to this moment, I admit that the love and care is still present. You still occupy the largest space in my heart. There wasn’t a day that your face didn’t pop out of my mind and your voice singing at the back of my ear. The worst thing is that whenever I see you around, I die wishing that you were still mine and that if I could only turn back time, I’d be better than the best.

I’m not sure if I can still love anyone else the way I did you. Maybe because its still you, no one else. My heart still feels like its being torn into pieces. I still love you, yes I do. I know I’m being hopeless romantic, but I just want to be honest with myself for this is what I really feel. That everytime I wake up, I still find it hard to believe that you’re gone which makes it hard for me to move on with my life without you. I don’t know when I’ll stop hurting, but only one thing is certain, I will eventually do, in anyway possible.

-Edward Patrick E. Pilares II/July 1, 2012/4:25AM

Is it because I’m not rich?
Is it because I don’t look good?
Is it because I wasn’t enough?
Is it because I am stubborn?
Is it because I talk too much?
Is it because I wasn’t much fun?
Is it because I was too emotional?
Is it because I’m not your type of guy?
Is it because I didn’t give something you want?
Is it because I had too many reasons?
Is it because I express what I truly feel?
Is it because I’m such a crybaby?
Is it because I had lots of friends?
Is it because I gave less than you expected?
Is it because I was too boring?
Is it because I boasted a lot of times?
Is it because I fight for what I believe is right?

Is it because I’M ME?

Or is it just because

You Lied?