Random Stuff from Random Thoughts

Photo and Words by: Edward Patrick E. Pilares II

Sat, 27 Apr 2013 16:08:18 -0400

Photo and Words by: Edward Patrick E. Pilares II

It is not the end of the world, just the end of 2012. :)

Mon, 31 Dec 2012 06:19:31 -0500

Today will be the last day of 2012 and its certainly a perfect time to take a look back on the things that happened whole year long. For me, it was a year full of different kinds of experiences; some were hurtful but most were joyful.

First of all, I would like to give recognition to all the people who were part of my extraordinary 2012. I believe that each and every one of you were able to teach me lessons and help me have realizations that were major contributions in molding the person I see whenever I look in the mirror. Every accomplishment and failure with you guys were all significant parts of my life.

Some of the memories I have gained this year are to be left behind but most are to be treasured and to be kept for the rest of my life. Though all these memories contributed in making me the man I am right now, some of them were already used up and would least probably be needed the succeeding years.

I really wanted this post to be a very happy one, but while making this, all memories flashed back and brought out random emotions inside me. But I believe that these flashbacks will be the last time and will be the gateway for them to totally go out and never come back. I believe that I am totally happy right now and there won’t be anything more to ask other that for the people I have to stay as long as they want to.

To all my family, friends, love ones, and to all the people around me, Thank You. Thank you for being there not only when I needed you, but also for all the random times we had spent together. I assure you that I will be here to help you in having a very memorable and joyful 2013. We have a lifetime ahead of us, so let’s make it all worth the while.

~~Goodbye 2012.~~

HELLO 2013! :)

-Edward Patrick E. Pilares II/December 31, 2012/7:19pm

Missing You by Freestyle

Sun, 18 Nov 2012 13:44:00 -0500

I’ve been through so much pain since you left me

I just can’t convince myself we’re through

Things have been said and done

I guess it’s over now you’re gone

It’s true when they say that lovers come and go

But deep in my heart I just wanna let you know

The love that we once shared is everything

That there’s nothing to compare

‘Coz I’m missing you so bad

Now that you’re not by my side

I guess you could say it’s me

Who’s hurting so bad after all this time

After all that we’ve been through

Baby aren’t you hurtin’ too

Now that I’ve lost the power to pretend

I guess you could see right through me

This yearnin’ I can’t explain

Feeling I just cannot containI know someday I’ll get over you

It just takes time and some getting used to

Each day I’m feeling blue

Every road leads me back to you

Moving On

Sun, 18 Nov 2012 04:28:50 -0500

When we get so much hurt, we usually ask about how tomorrow would be. We often believe that tomorrow will never be alright without the ones that we have lost. Tonight, I am here trying to give all of us a chance to see the brighter side of the road.

There are times when we lose the most special people in our lives. Times when the people whom we declare that we can never live without just disappears and never returns again. These are the times when we should learn that oftentimes, these people we want the most, are also the people we are best without.

When we try to forget and try to move on, there will be stages in this road to a “better you” where the ride will be bumpy. We cannot avoid these from happening, that is why we should always be ready to face them and fight. Not for other people, not for revenge, but simply for ourselves. The wounds that we might collect along the way will give you scars, significant scars that will one day be the determining factor of how far you’ve gone and how much you’ve learned.

There is this one usual instance when people change and gets worse when they get hurt. Such happenings are result of poor decision making and lack of priority set ups. The best thing to do is that always look at the bright side of the alley and cherish the things that remain beside you, that never left you. These things should serve as your motivation in accepting reality, being thankful for what you have, and not minding what you have lost. In belief that one day, something much better will arrive and replace the losses that you had in the past.

The main point of the story is to never give up and always be ready in taking all the necessary risks in order to be able to find the better you. So that one day, you will deserve having the better them.

-Edward Patrick E. Pilares II/November 18, 2012/5:23PM

The Final Goodbye

Mon, 13 Aug 2012 16:03:03 -0400

Today will be the day the we would have to finally say goodbye. Before we totally go our separate ways, I just want to tell you everything you need to know and understand. I hope that even though were already apart, I will always be that one guy that you will remember when you get to think of what true love really is.

All those moments we shared together, may it be happy or not, will always be my precious memories. You were the first person I offered that much love, care, and affection. It is known to myself that everything I felt during our days of togetherness were true. I was always more than willing to give you everything I had and I was at the peak of myself for you. Even though we had some rough times together, I still valued those days because I know it was you that I am with. Nothing can be compared to the love I had for you. I just didn’t expect that our forever would end too soon.

I know writing this won’t make any sense anymore. All I know is that I’ve got to say all I want to say. I loved you so much and I thought we would be together until the end.

This is my final goodbye. Saying this goodbye is crushing my heart but I know that I will eventually be alright.

Goodbye to our always and forever. I loved you. I guess that even though I was already at my best, I just wasn’t good enough for you.

"Any man can say the sweetest words, but only few can mean them"

Mon, 13 Aug 2012 16:00:49 -0400

“Any man can say the sweetest words, but only few can mean them”

"When it comes to being sweet, ACTIONS must weigh a lot more than WORDS"

Mon, 13 Aug 2012 16:00:25 -0400

“When it comes to being sweet, ACTIONS must weigh a lot more than WORDS”

Reminiscence

Sat, 30 Jun 2012 16:30:04 -0400

I can still remember the happiest days of my life. Those were the days when we were still together and believed in happy ever after. We had our own world, our own universe. It was you and me against the world. I didn’t care about what other people say and think for the only thing that was important for me was you and the happiness you bring into my everyday. Never have I imagined that the day will come that we have to say goodbye. The whole world knows how much love and care I was giving and willing to give for you. All that mattered to me was our little own world which made me feel that I need nothing more than for you to stay by my side. Just the thought of losing you was already painful, but the reality of it was what I believed to be the worst thing that may happen to my life.

In an unexpected time, you said goodbye. It felt like my whole world was falling apart and my heart was being torn into pieces. Craziness struck my mind and made me say and do unimaginable things. I wasn’t really ready to let you go. The person whom I believed to the one and only person I needed for me to survive life’s trials left brought my life into the worst position it could ever be.

Up to this moment, I admit that the love and care is still present. You still occupy the largest space in my heart. There wasn’t a day that your face didn’t pop out of my mind and your voice singing at the back of my ear. The worst thing is that whenever I see you around, I die wishing that you were still mine and that if I could only turn back time, I’d be better than the best.

I’m not sure if I can still love anyone else the way I did you. Maybe because its still you, no one else. My heart still feels like its being torn into pieces. I still love you, yes I do. I know I’m being hopeless romantic, but I just want to be honest with myself for this is what I really feel. That everytime I wake up, I still find it hard to believe that you’re gone which makes it hard for me to move on with my life without you. I don’t know when I’ll stop hurting, but only one thing is certain, I will eventually do, in anyway possible.

-Edward Patrick E. Pilares II/July 1, 2012/4:25AM

"The degree of hurt that I feel right now is indefinite."

Mon, 25 Jun 2012 16:11:16 -0400

“The degree of hurt that I feel right now is indefinite.”

"Will soon come back to writing. :)"

Sun, 03 Jun 2012 12:02:07 -0400

“Will soon come back to writing. :)”

"People deserves to be happy. But there’s an exception. YOU."

Mon, 07 May 2012 11:01:20 -0400

“People deserves to be happy. But there’s an exception. YOU.”

"I lost my passion for writing."

Fri, 04 May 2012 21:12:32 -0400

“I lost my passion for writing.”

While driving drunk last night, I was supposed to be on my way...

Fri, 04 May 2012 20:13:25 -0400

While driving drunk last night, I was supposed to be on my way home. When I suddenly saw myself driving towards another direction. When I came back to reality, I realized there is nothing here for me anymore. It was time to go home. (Taken with instagram)

Is it because...

Wed, 25 Apr 2012 12:36:38 -0400

Is it because I’m not rich?
Is it because I don’t look good?
Is it because I wasn’t enough?
Is it because I am stubborn?
Is it because I talk too much?
Is it because I wasn’t much fun?
Is it because I was too emotional?
Is it because I’m not your type of guy?
Is it because I didn’t give something you want?
Is it because I had too many reasons?
Is it because I express what I truly feel?
Is it because I’m such a crybaby?
Is it because I had lots of friends?
Is it because I gave less than you expected?
Is it because I was too boring?
Is it because I boasted a lot of times?
Is it because I fight for what I believe is right?

Is it because I’M ME?

Or is it just because

You Lied?

"It’s not bad to act as a fool at times. You just need to learn when to stop."

Wed, 25 Apr 2012 11:36:46 -0400

“It’s not bad to act as a fool at times. You just need to learn when to stop.”

"The easiest path through hurt is hatred."

Wed, 25 Apr 2012 11:22:08 -0400

“The easiest path through hurt is hatred.”

There Came A Time

Mon, 09 Apr 2012 15:23:00 -0400

To my dearest Allene Kaye,

There came a time when you came into my life. There came a time when I thought that you we’re just another someone else. There came a time when I thought that I was just hoping for nothing. There came a time when I thought that it was all a just a game. There came a time when I thought that we were just gonna end up wasted. There came a time when I thought that I was fighting for nothing. There came a time when I thought that there was no more chance for a better tomorrow. There came a time when I thought that it would only end up that easily. There came a time when I thought that I would see myself alone in the darkness. There came a time when I thought that you’d just leave me hanging. There came a time when I thought that all of these didn’t make any sense. There came a time when I thought that you were never the right one. There came a time when I thought that I’ll be wasting my life. There came a time when I thought that I would never be able to love as much as I do to you. There came a time when I thought that what other people think about us matters. There came a time when I thought that all of these was wrong. There came a time when I thought that we have reached the end of the road.

BUT at the end of all those times of thinking, there came a time when I finally believed that nothing or no one can ever stop me me from believing in us. That no one can ever change these feelings I have. That all of these are worth fighting for. I love you and I have no plans of turning back on us. As long as I know that my presence is of your pleasure, I would stay by your side giving you all the love possible. You are and will always be the perfect one for me, no matter how people see us. Happy 10th month honey, and I expect a lot more time of my life to spend with you. If possible, I would like to spend the rest of it with you.

I may have lost a lot of people in my life, but the only one that I can’t imagine my self without, is YOU. I LOVE YOU.

-Edward Patrick E. Pilares II/April 10, 2012/3:17AM

Seeing How Tomorrow Would Be While Watching Your Sleep

Thu, 23 Feb 2012 14:53:04 -0500

I wanna watch your sleep in all those nights, and while you’re asleep, I’ll be hugging and kissing and keep on whispering to your ears how beautiful you are. How I wish I’m the only man in your dreams, the only one you see beneath those perfectly shaped eyelids. To tell you how much I love you and I will forever be the man to keep you warm in everynight you are cold, up to the days when we get old. The person to be with you in taking each and every path that you will choose.

Times will get rough and I promise you that through all those hardships and trials, I can assure you, I will be tough. To you I give it all up because I know that of my tears, you deserve each and evey drop.

I know I’m not the type of man you see in the movies but I’ll show you that I can be better than any men in those fairytale stories. There will never be a perfectly happy ending, but I’m willing to take the risk just to keep you by my side in every step that you might take.

All these I promise without asking too much in return, I only need you to let me show you the true meaning of love because I know that only to you I can give better than anyone could ever have.

I Love You

-Edward Patrick E. Pilares II/February 24, 2012/3:45AM

"It’s not important if you’re not perfect for each other, all that matters is you love..."

Tue, 07 Feb 2012 11:06:04 -0500

“It’s not important if you’re not perfect for each other, all that matters is you love one another.”

Today, Tonight, and Tomorrow Belongs to Us <3

Tue, 29 Nov 2011 16:54:00 -0500

It has been almost six months since you and I went to each other’s arms and I still love you as much as I did since the beginning. Since the day that I have realized that I love you, I already knew that this will be the love that I will have for a long time, or if luck and love will let us, for a lifetime. Since then, I knew, it was you that I’ve been waiting for all along.

We’ve spent our precious time laughing, crying, fighting, travelling, studying, exploring and all the random stuffs we did. We have a lot in contrast, but such hindrance wasn’t enough to take us away from each other. There were times that I thought it was the end, but we held on to each other and we just keep on holding on tighter as the days, weeks and months passed.

I love you and I know that I always will. I know that you are not the perfect person to love, which is I am too, but behind that thought, I would never want to be with any other person anymore. The love that I have for you will never be diverted to anything or anyone anymore.

There is already a castle in the sky that we built for only the two of us and will serve as a paradise for our love. We are going to fly away with our love for each other. I know that nothing, or no one can give me the reason to leave and I will do my best for you to have no reason for leaving too.

“Today, Tonight, Tomorrow belongs to us and no one can ever take it away from the two of us. Our love will shield all strikes that life will bring before us.”

I Love You Allene Kaye Gonzales Cruz and this love I have for you will never fade. The world may, but my love won’t. <3

(The tears that I’m shedding while writing this are brought about by my indefinite love for you honey, I am hoping, praying, and working hard just to keep you happy WITH ME. I know I can be enough, for you to need nothing else anymore. <3)